Probably needs a bit of work yet, the order of beasts is likely wrong.
Once upon a time there was a guy who wanted to be the wisest guy. So he did what any normal person would do and he went hunting for the old stag who lived in the woods. It took him seven years of hunting this stag, living in the woods, eating twigs and berries, but he was able to finally track down this stag. He wrestles the stag to the ground and says “ok, stag, I don’t want to kill you, I just want to know how to become the wisest man.”
The stag looked up at him and spoke. “I don’t know how you become the wisest man, but you know who might know would be the old eagle. When I was a young stag, the eagle was still old, and I used to sharpen my antlers on that granite over there that’s now a pile of gravel.” So this guy, oh, his name was Finnegas. Finnegas picked himself up, let the stag go and starting hunting the old eagle.
Finnegas hunted the eagle for seven years. Seven years of living in the woods, eating twigs and berries, sleeping under logs, until he finally snared the eagle. He held the eagle and told it “Look, eagle, I don’t want to kill you, but the Stag told me you could tell me how to become the wisest man. So please tell me.”
The eagle looked at him and said “Well, man. I don’t know how you become the wisest man, but when I was a young eagle there was an old boar in the forest. When I was a young eagle, I dropped an acorn, and now it’s grown into the biggest oak in the forest. I bet if you ask the Boar he’ll tell you how to become the wisest man. Finnegas thanked him and let him go.
Finnegas hunted the old boar for seven years. Seven years of living in the woods, eating twigs and berries, sleeping under logs, drinking from the river, until he finally found the boar. He chased the boar into a dead-end cave and told it “Look, boar, I don’t want to kill you, but the Eagle told me you could tell me how to become the wisest man. So out with it.”
The boar looked at him and said “Well, man. I don’t know how you become the wisest man, but when I was a young boar there was an old Salmon in the river, in a pool under the hazelnuts. If you eat this salmon, you will be the wisest man. Finnegas thanked him and let him go.
Finnegas hunted the salmon for seven years. Finally, he caught him, cleaned him, stuffed him with herbs and hazelnuts, and stuck him on a spit and started roasting him over a nice hot fire. But his hunting caught up with him and he began to drowse.
Just about that time, a young man came up and said “Whatcha doing?” And Finnegas said “I’m roasting this salmon for my dinner.” The boy, Fionn, said “Hey, you look kind of tired, why don’t you take a nap and I’ll do that for you.” Finnegas said “Well, that sounds like a good idea, but don’t eat this salmon, it was a lot of work.” At that, Finnegas turned the fish over to Fionn and went to sleep.
As salmon on a stick is like to do, it slipped a little, and Fionn didn’t want to drop it in the fire, so he pushed it back up with his thumb. Of course, it was hot and he burned his thumb. When Fionn put his thumb into his mouth because it was burnt, it was covered in salmon juice. This meant that Fionn was the one who ate the salmon, and he got the wisdom of the world (but only when he sucked on his thumb).
I always wondered what happened to Finnegas.